Dad's Valentine Gift

Ben gave me a Valentine's card and on it was this gift. FREE TARGET PRACTICE! Dad, you get to shoot your favorite target, ( me), with 50-100 paintballs. For rules, see back of card.
Happy Valentine's Day. Ben.........
ONCE IN A LIFETIME USE ONLY!
Rules: 1. You ( the shooter ) must be stationary.
2. I ( the target ) get to run around.
3. 50-100 paintballs may be loaded into the marker.
4. No time limit.
5. You must allow the target to regain conssciousness after every hit.
6. Marker may not be dialed above 250 ft/sec.